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fisheypixels
Aspiring Writer, Artist, Explorer, all that good stuff. Alslo longboarding, hiking, hanging with friends, RPing, other stuff. Talk, I like talk. I'm basically working on improving my writing and arting skills so I can break into the comic industry.

Age 29, Male

Felling Cretins

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Joined on 10/7/14

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Log Entry 002: update and rant and web comic

Posted by fisheypixels - April 1st, 2015


So I've been drawing one panel of page two for about a hour now.  I still don't like how it looks overall, but I need to move on else I'll never get anything done.

My plan is to get five pages finished for a head start before I begin posting the web comic.  That way I'll have like three weeks to get in the habit of one page per week.  I think that's a good place to start.  Not much at all, and it'll mean I don't get inactive for a long period.

Also I got a title for it.  "STORY OF MY LIFE by girl".  The comic is written/illustrated by a young girl in a fantasy world, and the comic symbolizes what she wants out of life.  So that's that.

I'll just get the rant out of the way. On the off chance that someone I know (or anyone) reads this, just know I cuss a lot more than I used to.

Lately I've been lacking motivation.  The only times I feel motivated is when I watch a drawing tutorial video, or hear something from someone I look up to.  Or just read/see something incredibly motivating.  That's it.  Otherwise I have to force myself to draw one picture of a character, and if it doesn't turn out how I like it, I get pissed and stop.  I don't know why I lack so much fucking motivation.  It fucking pisses me off.  My friends are all "dude, that's pretty good" and all I see is chicken scratch.  I've gone from having a lot of close friends to like three close friends.  I keep hearing from other artists that I need to find other artist friends and we need to do stuff and grow together.  How the fuck am I suppose to do that?  I've tried commenting on people's posts, being friendly.  Nope.  I have made three artist friends.  Two of which we rarely talk because they are too busy or rarely draw.  One of which we've gotten close, but different forms of art.  So I can learn from him, but he's a ton better and is always busy.  So there's none of that working together shit.

So I'm on my own.  I've tried joining a bunch of different sites only to find nobody likes talking to people.  Then I see these people my age who are working professionally.  I'm fucking 20 years old.  Just about 21.  My art is shit.  My writing is shit.  I've got a long fucking way to go before I'm even close to the professional art level.  All these people started drawing when they were young kids.  I started at 19.  There's tons of writers who started way earlyer.  I've written one script only to have the artist fucking quit on me before starting.  Hours and hours of fucking plotting and planning and designing.  Half of it is hers so I can't just go find another artist.  I don't know what to fucking do.  Every god damned thing pisses me off.  typing rants doesn't even help anymore.

I can't talk to anyone about it.  I have one friend who draws, which is only once a month or so, otherwise everyone is into music.  One guy is into directing and filmography, but he's to busy to hang out or talk.  My parents talk about nothing except business related shit.  They'll come into my room when I'm in the middle of something, no matter the importance, tell me to do something.  And if I don't do it right away, I get threatened to get kicked out.  But I didn't get the job that would have allowed me to get enough money to pay off student debt and get out of this shit hole, so i've got to find another one. 

fuck art.  fuck writing.  fuck all this shit.

this has been brought to you by a angsty 20 year old.  who also sucks at spelling.


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